One day, I met a friend for coffee and during the course of our conversation, she began telling me about the horror story of her most recent family vacation. It included arguments, fighting, disagreements along with periods of silent treatments. She said she dreads it every year. Naturally, I asked why she would go back for more each year and she just shrugged her shoulders and said, "That's what we do". This isn't the first person to tell me about disastrous family vacations, so it was with a good amount of trepidation that I considered trying it with my family.
I love spending time with my kids and grand kids but trying to get us all together for even a simple Sunday dinner is like trying to herd cats. And while my favorite location for a vacation is next to a quiet lake with loons in the distance, I knew the one weakness all the kids had was a love of the beach. So a few years ago, I suggested a trip to Outer Banks for a week. We could rent a house right on the beach together. I pointed out, if we went in the off season, we could get a house that would normally rent for $12,000 a week for only $2500. The one we chose had 6 bedrooms, 5 baths, an elevator, private swimming pool, hot tub, and our own private walkway to the beach. It was spectacular! That first year, when we got home, Emmett asked, "When can we go back to that house where we pretend we're rich?"
And that was the beginning. Jen created a countdown of days till departure and we were all consumed with vacation planning for months. Jan and I worked on surprise goody bags, Jen labored over pages and pages of 'things to do in OBX' and naturally, I worked on menus.
There was only one rule for the week. Everyone do what you want, when you want. No rules, no schedules, just relax and enjoy the week in whatever way pleases you. I figured we would only see each other at dinner time, but here's the interesting thing......to my absolute delight, everyone really wanted to be together.
That first morning and every morning after, I got up before the sun (like I always do) made the coffee and prepared to go out on the deck and watch the sunrise. As I was pouring my first cup, there was Bob, Shane and Mark, waiting to pour theirs, then Jen (who NEVER gets up early voluntarily), then Jessy, then Emmett. Side note: Jen told me Emmett's favorite part of vacation was getting up early and watching the sunrise with Granny. (Picture me teary-eyed)
So the routine was established. Each morning, all but the true late-sleepers met on the deck and had coffee together and watched the sunrise while delving into conversations of deep and thought-provoking subjects. After breakfast, everyone dispersed to their own endeavors. Some headed straight for the pool, some went to the beach, some sat and read a book while a couple of us went off to meditate. Nearly every day, Jen had an outing planned for anyone who wished to participate.
At night, we would all have dinner that someone would volunteer to make, then either watch a movie, play a game or just disperse to our rooms for quiet time.
For the entire week, there wasn't a single harsh word toward anyone. Only laughter. Only fun. Only love for one another. It did my heart good to watch my adult children enjoying each other's company so much and watching the grandchildren bonding together which from my own experience will continue throughout their lives.
So, mission accomplished. So much so, as soon as we got back, they started planning the next vacation with a final countdown set.
And here we are, planning our fourth family OBX vacation. As of this writing, we are at T-minus 236 days! Every couple days, a group text will go out with countdown updates and more ideas of things to do.
I am so grateful for my little tribe and our own annual Pow Wow. Because that's how I see it. It's a coming together to renew, share and strengthen our relationships with each other.
I highly recommend it.
